This time 12 months ago i was heading to Tamworth to have my 2nd mastocetomy. Whilst i knew what i was in for i still wasnt prepared for the ongoing emotional crapstorm that comes with supressing hormones to stop feeding that bloody cancer.
Back in November when i met with my radiation doctor she suggested and i agreed we needed to supress my hormones as both cancers fed of them and grew like craxy. Ok i thought lets do that what harm other than this ginormous needle every 28 days could have 😰
And cue the bloody emotions, the crying at the drop of a hat. I never realised how much your hormones affect you. Anyways i have now kinda figured out the timeline around when i have the needle to how i will feel/react and try my hardest to deal with it. Work with it ect..
I wont say the last 6 months have been easy, actually they have been the absoloute hardest since this whole crapstorm started back in December 2018. I have had moments/days where i wonder exactly how much more can one person take, and this has taken an emotional toll on me. But it has also taught me or shown me what is important in life. Whats that saying ‘it takes a personal tragedy to realise how important some things are’ and that is the absoloute truth there 🙌 The small things you get all caught up in and emotional about at the end of the day dont really rank that high when you are dealing with the cancer crapstorm…
I have made some changes in my life, pulled back from a few things that were causing me more stress and grief than i wanted to deal with to focus on the most important thing….. ME!!!!
Hopefully Covid pees off real soon (although personally i dont think it will and the world we used to live in will be changed forever) and i will have lots of horse events to attend with my camera in tow. 📷💘