Dealing with it

It wasn’t until a customer said to me at work the other week ‘how are you coping Kristy’ and my reply was ‘yeah im getting better’ and he said ‘no with the ‘mental part of having surgery and having a mastectomy’ …. which i was like ‘yeah i’m ok with that, i would rather have my boob removed than have a lumpectomy where they only take abit out and then stressing about did they get it all’ …Β Cause clearly that happens, they took all of mine but seems it had spread already to other nodes and on my sternum…

It did get me thinking though about other women and how they must feel. I have always been a tomboy and not really cared if i had boobs or not. Or wished i didn’t cause they got in the way with the horses ect. If i didn’t already have that mindset i could see how traumatized i might have been. The feeling like you were not a women anymore, or the complications of wanting to have kids later on would be huge and i really feel for those ladies. I cannot imagine what you would be going through.

The amazing Cancer Council did send my out some amazing bras and inserts so i wouldn’t be lopsided but it doesn’t even worry me now. I might if i was going to a special function wear it but not in my every day to day life. I now wear a huge scar that spreads from the middle of my chest to under my left arm. It is what it is…. I have always been a polo shirt and jeans girl and can still wear those so all good in my world i reckon…

Just keep on going is my theory…. ive got my horses and spolit dachshunds. You can only give this shitty disease so much control over your life and im not a sit in the corner and have a big old pity party kinda girl (i have had a few little ones thanks to the bloody chemo induced menopause and my emotions are all over the shop sometime)

As Tim McGraw sings one of my favorite songs of all time ‘Live like your dying’Β  and that’s the truth really, you’ve got to keep doing what you love to do and i will continue to juggle that all in between treatments. I am hoping to make it back on the polocrosse field this year even if its only for a carnival or two …. oh and maybe throw a Ag Show in there as well …. You’ve just got to keep living your life and not throw the towel in …

KB

 

 

 

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